Wanting, Needing and Loving Someone – An Understanding

It’s all a matter of feelings and sometimes situations, which lead us to either want, need or love someone. There is a considerable difference between wanting and needing a person; however, loving him stands completely apart. In my view, Wanting a person does not essentially means that you need that person and vice versa, whereas if you love a person, its way more than just wanting and needing him. Let us try to understand all the three expressions differently.

When you want someone, it shows your desire to be with that person and you have already made a room for him in your life. There is nothing that you cannot do without him but still you want him to be with and around you because there is a sensation prevailing in your heart which sets your mind to think that you have a desire for that person. Like a kid’s obstinacy to get a toy does not really mean that he needs it and cannot live without it. It’s the sense of attraction of the kid towards that toy. Similarly, wanting someone does not necessarily mean that you will end up with him for your entire life and you cannot live without him. It may be termed as a momentary or timed infatuation which may be a result of lust or physical needs. It is a desire that might fade away with time; your heart is then contented.


On the other hand, need for a person is somewhat a self-centered approach. In this case, you might be in a state of affairs where you need someone or anyone to be with you and you tend to make a wrong decision at times. This is a state of mind where you do not desire but the circumstances make you to take that call. For example, if a child is grown up by distant parents or in a family where he has seen a lot of violence and emotional break downs, while entering his young age, he will be in a need of someone who can give him all those things which he missed being a child. Now he is desperate to find someone or anyone and this is where this need arrives.

Loving someone is an eternal feeling, which is altruistic and wholesome; away from desires, situations and conditions. If you love someone, not only you want or need him, you are, in real sense, ready to accept the person the way he is and ready to stand with him in all scenarios; away from lust. This is an involatile emotion which involves a lot of sacrifice for each other. Being with the person you love gives a sense of completeness and you may want to spend your entire life with him. These relationships may or may not involve physical intimacies, but whatever they do; it adds an essence to their lifestyle and deepens the bond between the two.


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